E Well I wake up this morning I rolled out of bedA I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the headH Checked out my mail there was letter that readE Love for sale, love for saleE I picked up the phone I called everyone I couldA I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone bookH You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hookE Love for sale, love for saleA Send up a signal throw me a lineE Somebody explain "this funny Valentine"A It might not be signal but it sure ain't a crimeH I'm one step from crazy and two steps behindE I called Lt. Columbo from my TV setA I've tried the Dating Game I haven't found her yetH I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse PetE Love for sale, love for saleE A H E A E A H E E We've been living together 3 years,A 2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four houndred beersH You can't shop for love when you're shopping at SearsE Love for sale, love for saleE I guess I've learnt my lesson it was easy to seeA My old lady she played this joke on meH I never looked where I forgot it would beE Love for sale, love for sale