EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
BABE RUTH!
VERSUS!
LANCE ARMSTRONG!
BEGIN!
Lance Armstrong:
Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression
I'll let you be the second fat woman hearing my confession
I admit it, I did what I had to do to win
I'm an athlete, you're a specimen of sin
With your drinking and smoking and choking down food
I know French dudes with better manners than you!
So swing, batter batter, show me what a fatter rapper can do
I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you!
Babe Ruth:
You live strong, beat cancer, congratulations!
Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation!
Third base with an Olsen twin, that's the sensation!
She's just a little girl! What'd you give her, a bracelet?
Whole nation knows you ride too tight in the crotch
You're as boring as your Tour de Frances to watch
So come on, little buddy, don't look so pissed!
With all that blood and attitude you're like a menstrual cyclist!
Lance Armstrong:
You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?
That's like having a pasta contest without Italy!
You're an orphan who found his way to fortune and fame
Just think what you could've done if you were to actually train!
I'm the pinnacle of physical condition
While you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it bottle tipping, are you tripping?
You'll be nothing but a skeleton
Messing with a fellow in yellow who will be pedaling like hell up in the Peleton!
Babe Ruth:
It's the bottom of the ninth against a Texan in a bathing suit
Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth
It may be way too soon, but I'm calling a shot
And I'm not talking about, those are tires and winches you brought
There's something to swap, we'll knock you right outta the park!
And round the bases to the sound of up-roaring applause!
While you hang your head in shame and disgrace because
You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was!
You look tired, kid, you got Sheryl Crow's feet eyes
Peddle home to France and maybe bring me back some fries!
cause if you step to Ruth on the mic, I'll fan your fancy bike and all
YEER OUT!!! With three strikes, and just one ball!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EEEPIC RAAP BATTLES *clap, clap, clap clap clap*OF HISTORY!
