Johnny wiped out 
He can't walk 
He's got a prosthetic hip 
(yeah yeah) 
And Jenny don't care 
She can't talk 
She got Prozac 'scrip' 
(oh no) 
And daddy's alright 
Just retired 
He's got an artificial heart 
(yeah yeah) 
But mommy don't mind 
She gets her loving 
At the Jiffy Mart 
(oh no) 
 
And they look so sad 
In their regulation check-out clothes 
It makes me so glad 
That I'm not one of those 
No, I'm not one of those 
 
Will Jimmy's going down 
But it's okay 
He's got elevator shoes 
(yeah yeah) 
And sissy got a jones 
Riding her bones 
She got the methadone blues 
(oh no) 
But I'm on hold 
And I don't mind 
I've got the muzak groove 
(yeah yeah) 
Cause it's gone cold 
But I won't fight 
Cause I'm born to lose 
(oh no) 
 
And they look so sad 
In their regulation check-out clothes 
It makes me so glad 
That I'm not one of those 
No, I'm not one of those