Used to be in a gang 
'Till I beat a kid half dead 
In a video arcade 
Judge gave me a choice: Jail or the Marines 
Best time I ever had was being an MP 

Aw yeh 
I wish I was down in El Salvador 
Where I could jerk off with my gun 
And kill the poor 

More gang busts after I'm discharged 
Got on offer from police 
Surprise! We'll wipe your record clean 
If you'll become one of us 

You've got just the skills we need 
For the government's official gang 
Robothug Riot Squad 
Already I want more 

Aw yeh, 
I wish I was down in El Salvador 
We're just countin' days 
'Til we can do it up here 

Well, Officer Friendly- 
What does Elmer the Safety Elephoant 
Have to say about this... ? 
Well, good buddy 
I''ll bet he says you can't do this ARGH! 
Or this ARGH! 
Or this ARGH! 
Or even this ARGH! 

"His toy gun looked real 
I had to defend myself..." 
I'm always lookin' for excuses 
To defend myself 

People are storming out into the streets 
People are poouring out into the streets 
They hate me, they hate me 

I just might have to defend myself 
NOW! 

It's party time... 

I look at you and smolder 
With my nightstick and my shield 
Little kids throw rocks at me 
Their moms call me a pig 

Commander says I gotta hold the line 
'Til the TV cameras leave 
Then we'll fire away, make my day 
Just like good ol' Kent State 

Why wait! 
It'll be like I was down in El Salvador 
Gonna jerk off with my gun 
And kill the poor 
Be a big man with my gun 
And kill the poor 

Jerk off with my gun 
I think I'm gonna kum 
Then I'll kiss my gun good night 
And put her under my pillow