I have to stop listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my penis I should be studying and I'm working hard My future depends on this bizarre? Why am I standing in this noisy club Where people i hate what the fuck It doesn't make sense, I hate this place 12 dollar drinks and a shitty DJ Obnoxious douchebags and easy girls Oh yeah, that's why I'm here, the easy girls I can't believe that it has come to this Do all this just to come is ridiculous I know I sound sexist, but I'm a feminist But the problem my dick is a Nelligan When it comes to arguments, he always wins Rationality can not compete with orgasms I lost my train of thought, this girl's so hot Oh here I go again, I have to stop Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my penis I hate this girl, why am I talking to her? She's a horrible person but my mind's a blur She's wearing a skirt and a push-up bra God damn her and that push-up bra My mind keeps telling me to walk away "Jon, just go home and masturbate Don't waste your money and your time with this really ditzy girl that you don't even like" But my dick is like "Hey! I'm here to stay! You're gonna do as I say! First get her drunk It will be easier. And if she wants to dance Then fucking dance with her" But I hate this music and I hate dancing And there's no way I can afford all these drinks "Hey! Do what you have to do to get me inside! You know very well you won't win this fight" So five minutes later I'm on the dance floor Dancing to Kesha and I hate that hoe And I hate myself and I hate my cock It's hard as a rock and I have to stop Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my penis Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com Stumble out of the bar, it's 2 in the morning Dead on the inside but still horny So I try to get this girl back to her place But she says she's hungry so I have to wait Now I'm in a diner, it's almost 3 She's talking about her captive reality tv I really should just go home and get some sleep but the goddamn cleavage is staring right at me And I just wanna spend a little time in there which reminds me of a quote by Voltaire Anything too stupid to spoken is sung And I have been singing a lot since I have begun Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my penis So I'm back at her place 4 AM, finally play time begins All my hard work is about to pay off But all of a sudden there is a knock on her door She starts to freak out She tells me she thought her boyfriend was out of town He kicks the door down, I jump out the window I didn't even have the time to grab my clothes So I'm running like a motherfucker down the street Fully erect and still horny I finally give in, this has to stop So I hide in some bushes and I start to jerk off I'm almost done when I see flashing lights A squad car just appears out of the night I try to run and that's when I cum Surrounded by cops at the break of dawn See, this is what happens when you listen to your dick You become an irrational insane prick Now I'm sitting the cell, ashamed and naked How the fuck am I gonna explain this to my wife and kid? Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my penis