The last of England's spoiled brats 
Grand order of the gutter rats 
A big fish in a public house 
You're never going to learn to shut your mouth 
A silly pseudo lager lout 
With nothing much to shout about 
Spent hours looking in the mirror 
Trying to perfect the perfect pout 

Now take the spotlight 
And pause for your applause 
Well my oh my you're such a big boy 
On a Saturday night 
You try but there is always something 
Something not right inside 
There's always someone 
Somebody else to take 
The power and the glory 
All for themselves 

With you I suffered heaven knows 
Although we never came to blows 
It's just as well 'cause I can tell 
I would have wiped the floor with you 
You don't like 'them' you don't like 'us' 
You make me laugh but seriously 
I look at you what do I see? 
A clapped out Nazi with a blunderbuss 

So take the spotlight 
And pause for your applause 
Well my oh my you're such a big boy 
On a Saturday night 
You try but there is always something 
Something not right inside 
There's always someone 
Somebody else to take 
The power and the glory 
All for themselves 

So take the stage and 
Let's have a great big hand now 
My oh my you're such a big boy 
On a Saturday night 
That's when you really know they love you 
When somebody else will feed your face 
And kiss your arse 
And wonder where the time flew past 
Oh yes my darling's such a 
Big boy on a Saturday night