Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are You well heeled big wheel, ha ha, charade you are And when your hand is on your heart You're nearly a good laugh Almost a joker With your head down in the pig bin Saying keep on digging Pig stain on your fat chin What do you hope to find When you're down in the pig mine You're nearly a laugh You're nearly a laugh But you're really a cry Bus stop rat bag, ha ha, charade you are You f**ked up old hag, ha ha, charade you are You radiate cold shafts of broken glass You're nearly a good laugh Almost worth a quick grin You like the feel of steel You're hot stuff with a hat pin And good fun with a hand gun You're nearly a laugh You're nearly a laugh But you're really a cry Hey you Whitehouse, ha ha, charade you are You house proud town mouse, ha ha, charade you are You're trying to keep your feelings off the street You're nearly a real treat All tight lips and cold feet And do you feel abused You gotta stem the evil tide And keep it all on the inside Mary, you're nearly a treat Mary, you're nearly a treat But you're really a cry