Internet relationships are not real Your heart people steal but identities conceal So here's a tale of warning for girls and boys Laptop computers can be dangerous toys In the chat room, I inspect. Who's here tonight? ASL check I'm 20/f from the UK. Send me an IM and I'll make your day I'm 22 and my name is Daryl Nice to meet you Daryl my name is Carol What do you like Carol? I like to go to shows. I collect comic books and vintage clothes What do you like? I like to skate. I play rock guitar, but I'm not that great I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late I live in San Francisco and hang on the Haight Do you like the Golden Gate? I did when I was eight Maybe I can come and visit? Maybe you should wait See I'm really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife I weight 300 pounds and I really hate my life Are you serious? Yes Well, I've got a secret too. I'm not 20 years old, I'm really 32 I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue You lied to me Carol Well, you lied to me too It's not normal to have an Internet girlfriend. Online relationships are really just pretend Unplug your heart, upgrade your system. Get, get off the Internet Bob went on MySpace for hours a day. Talking to girls from Moscow to LA But people can surprise you from behind a screen Listen to this verse and you'll see what I mean Hi, I'm Susie, I like your profile I checked out your pics and I like your smile Sounds good Susie, I'll be your friend We can message each other again and again Comment on my pics and post on my page Join my groups and guess my age! You must be 18, how could you not? You can't be in high school you're just too hot Let me send you pics for your personal collection I hope they inspire you and give you a smile Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene The cops showed up at his door - she was only 16 It's not normal to have an Internet girlfriend. Online relationships are really just pretend Unplug your heart, upgrade your system. Get, get off the Internet If you don't believe us here's a final story About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lori Behind the monitor, truth is hidden from your eyes Marcus didn't know but he was in for a surprise We've been dating for a while but let's cut to the chase I don't know what you look like, and I want to see your face But what does it matter? You know who I am inside What if you're not a woman and this whole time you lied? You got me there, I'm not really a female I'm a guy who pretends to be a girl through email So this is why it's bad to meet women online Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time! It's not normal to have an Internet girlfriend. Online relationships are really just pretend Unplug your heart, upgrade your system. Get, get off the Internet Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)