Announcer: Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it's
nothing to worry about. It's all part of growing up and
being British. This course is designed to eliminate
embarrassment, to enable you to talk freely about rude
objects, to look at akward and embarrassing things, and
to point at people's privates. The course has been
designed by Dr. Karl Gruber of the Institute of Going A
Bit Red in Helsinki. Here, he himself introduces the
course.
Dr. Karl Gruber: Hello, my name is Karl Gruber. Thank
you for inviting me into your home. My method is the
result of six years work here at the institute, in
which subjects were exposed to simulated embarrassment
predicaments, over a prolonged fart - period! time!
(fart) ...Sorry. Lesson 1: Words. Do any of these words
embarass you?
Voice over: Shoe. Megaphone. Grunties.
Dr. Karl Gruber: Now let's go on to something ruder:
Voice over: Wankel rotary engine.
Dr. Karl Gruber: Now lesson 2: Noises. Noises are a
major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits",
"winkle" and "vibraphone" can not rival the
embarrassment potential of sound. Listen to this, if
you can:
(embarrassing sound)
How do you rate your embarrassment response?
A) High.
B) Hello!
C) Good evening!
If C, you are loosening up, and will soon be ready for
this:
(more embarrassing sounds)
Well! How did you rate?
A) Embarrassed.
B) Hello!
C) Good evening!
Now lesson 3, in which these rude and dirty sounds are
combined with smutty visual suggestions into a
embarrassment simulation situation. You are the waiter
at this table:
Lady: Charles, I've got something to show you...
(zipper, thud, thud)
Dr. Karl Gruber: Score 5 for no embarrassment, score 3
for slight embarrassment, and 1 for...
