John: ...except for a half sister, who was obsessed with Vanadium. Rigged the market, made a cool forty million, paid off the Lord Mayor, and put the lot into diesel powered nuns. Terry J: Which is where it went wrong, eh... Michael: Exactly! Terry J: Pass the beernuts. John: Oh he hasn't killed himself yet. Terry J: He hasn't? John: Oh no, waiting to April the 5th. Michael: Some sort of tax dodge. Graham: Good evening, sir. John: Evening, Tom. Terry J: Evening, Harry. Michael: Evening, Maurice. Graham: Well, what's it to be, sir? John: A mark. Terry J: Oh, one of your specials please, Harry. John: One special please, sir. Graham: One special coming up. John: So see what's in page eight. Nixon's had an arsehole transplant. Michael: Well, have you've...eh...you've seen the stop press though? The arsehole's rejected him. Graham: Ehm...would you like a twist of lemming, sir? Terry J: Uh, yes please, Harry. (squeak, squeak, squeak) Graham: Bit more, sir? Terry J: Oh, just a squeeze. (SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK) Graham: There you are, sir Terry J: Thank you. John: Alex, what'll you have? Michael: Oh, aaaaaah, Mallard Fizz for me, please, Maurice. Graham: Ok, sir, one Mallard Fizz coming up. Michael: Jolly good. Terry J: How about old Cohen Barkley? John: Eh? Terry J: [???? ???? ????. ??? ??? ?????? switched the wood preservertives into vinaigre. Sold the bottles right next to [???]. (QUAAACK, QUAAACK, QUAAACK) Terry J: Smart fellow's always gonna do well. Nice bloke, said I [?????????] Michael: Funny looking chap, you know. Buttocks bent the wrong way. [??????????] every time he sat down he fell over. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Don't make me laugh. Terry J: Well, cheers then. Graham: Cheers, sir (Retching) John: Eh, for me...ehm...a Harlem Stinger, please, Tom. Graham: Okay, sir. Rastus! Rastus: Here, boss. Graham: One Harlem Stinger. Rastus: One stinger coming raaaahhhhht up. (Gurgling, retching) Michael: Cheers, old boy. Everyone: Cheers, all the best. (Running to the lavatory) John: Eh, how much is that then, Tom? Graham: One pound and forty p, sir. John: Would you care to join us? Graham: Oh, no, thank you, sir. John: There we are, keep the change. Graham: Thank you, sir. John: Good health. Graham: Cheers. (Drinking. Running to the lavatory, regurgitating) Terry J: Same again, please, Harry. Go easy on the lemming, Harry. Graham: Okay, sir. There you are, sir. Eh...same again for you, sir? Michael: Just a small one, Maurice. Graham: Okay, sir. Michael: Maurice? Graham: Yes, sir? Michael: You haven't got something a little less...eh...ducky, have you? Graham: What do you mean, something without the mallard, sir? How about a Dog Turd and Tonic? Michael: Uurgh!