(Graham) Trouble at mill. 
Lady Mountback:
(Carol) Oh no - what kind of trouble? 
Reg: I don't know - Mr Wentworth told me to come and 
say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I 
didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. 
[JARRING CHORD]
(The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain 
enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal 
Biggles has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal 
Fang is just Cardinal Fang) 
Ximinez:
(Michael) NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our 
weapon is suprise...surprise and fear...fear and 
surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and 
surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three 
weapons are fear, and surprise, and the ruthless 
efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the 
Pope.... Amongst our weapons...are fear, surprise, 
ruth... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as 
fear... I'll come in again. 
(Exit and exeunt) 
Reg: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. 
[JARRING CHORD]
(The cardinals burst in) 
Ximinez: NOOOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! 
Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: 
fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost 
fanatical devotion to the Pope, and a night out with 
the neighbour - Oh erh! It's no good, I'm sorry. 
Cardinal Biggles - you'll have to say it. 
Biggles:
(Terry J) What? 
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief 
weapons are ...' 
Biggles: I couldn't say that... 
(Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again) 
Reg: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. 
[JARRING CHORD]
(The cardinals enter) 
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um.... 
Ximinez: Expects... 
Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects 
the...um...Spanish...um... 
Ximinez: Inquisition. 
Biggles: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In 
fact, those who do expect - 
Ximinez: Our chief weapons is... 
Biggles: Our chief weapons is...um...er... 
Ximinez: Surprise... 
Biggles: Surprise and -- 
Ximinez: Stop. Stop. Stop there - All right! All right! 
...our chief weapon is surprise...blah blah blah blah 
blah. Now, Cardinal Fang, read the charges. 
Fang:
(Terry G) One pound for a full sketch, 24 p for a 
quickie. 
Ximinez: What will you have? 
Lady Mountback: Sketch, please.