OK... Taxi!
I met this girl in a Birmingham taxi 
I got it first, but she slipped in before me 
Just as I was telling her, hey this is mine 
She already told the cab driver where to go 
Me I always show respect for the ladies 
I sat back and let her have it her way 
So good lord sees me through darkness and light 
I tell you what I remembered from that night 
I'm hungry, do you fancy a little something to eat? 
I can't go on forever on Cognac and weed 
But she was already on the way down in the seat 
I tried to stop her, or maybe I didn't 
So there I was in a strange situation 
The chauffeur said I can drop you off at the station 
I said no man, no don't 
I tell you when to stop keep your eyes on the road 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
Two hours later, she was still at it 
The driver had to refill gasoline and shit 
Baby baby, introduce yourself 
What's your name, girl? 
My name is Fred 
Fred? 
Fred, yeah 
Fred, a'what a'what did you say? 
Now that put me back a bit 'cos I'm not gay 
Now that put me back a bit 'cos I'm not gay 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
So whatever kind of trouble you might get yourself into 
Just think of me that night and what I went through 
I thought it was Helen or Marie or whatever, giving me head 
Until I realised it was this dude called Fred ... Hello 
And that was a Birmingham Ho 
Hey, ho hey, ho hey 
And that was a Birmingham Ho 
Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey 
Take it away now.. 
Hold on a minute, that's bullshit 
You told me it was a microphone 
And you wanted me to sing in it 
I have a lot of friends and I do lots of things for them 
I don't think it's me, I think it's you that have a problem 
So zip up and try to be a gentleman 
I have feelings too and I don't need you to hurt them 
So zip up and try to be a gentleman 
So zip up and try to be a gentleman 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK 
And that was a Birmingham Ho 
Hey, ho hey, ho hey 
And was a Birmingham Ho 
Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey...