Ladies and gentlemen 
Welcome to the disclaimer 
That's right  the disclaimer 
This American apple pie institution 

Known as parental discretion 
Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm 
From the lyrics that might actually make you think 
And will also insult your intelligence at the same time 

So protect your family. 
This album contains explicit depictions 
Of things which are real. 
These real things are commonly known as life. 

So, if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously. 
If it sounds dangerous, 
Do not try this at home or at all. 
And if it offends you, just don't listen to it.