I plopped down in my easy chair and I turned on a Channel 2 A bad gunslinger named a Salty Sam was a chasin' poor Sweet Sue He trapped her in the old sawmill and said with an evil laugh, If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'll saw you all in half! And then he grabbed her (Help, he grabbed me) He tied her up (help he's tying me up oh) He turned on the buzzsaw (he's turnin on the buzz saw help) (chorus): And then along came Jones Tall thin Jones Slow-walkin' Jones Slow-talkin' Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones Commercial came on, so I got up to fix myself a snack You should've seen what was goin' on by the time that I got back Down in the old abandoned mine, Sweet Sue was havin' fits That villain said Give me the deed to your ranch Or I'll blow you all to bits! And then he grabbed her (help, he grabbed me help) He tied her up (he's tying me up again help) He lit the fuse to the dynamite (he lit the fuse to the dynamite, Help help) (chorus) And then along came Jones Tall thin Jones Slow-walkin' Jones Slow-talkin' Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show But there was the same old shoot-'em-up and the same old rodeo Salty Sam was a tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack He said If you don't give me the deed to your ranch I'll throw you on the railroad track! And then he grabbed her (help he's grabbing me again He tied her up (here we go again, tying me up) He threw her on the railroad tracks A train started comin' (Oh, here come the train! here come the train. Oh help, help help) (chorus) And then along came Jones Tall thin Jones Slow-walkin' Jones Slow-talkin' Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones Along came long, lean, lanky Jones