I got a brand-new girlfriend, she's hot from head to toe I met her on the mid-way 'bout an hour ago I may not have a future and she may have a past But the fortune teller read our palms and told us this could last One good thing about her for sure that I know She's a hooooooooooooochie koochie dancer in this carnival show She said you gotta see me dance and see me do my thing And I was thinkin' wow I need to buy this girl a ring She said her show was somethin' I really had to see And if I gave her $50 bucks she'd get me in for free She said her mom is on parole, her dad's in Leavenworth My buddies think I'm crazy but hey this just might work So I asked my friend Bud Weiser "hey Bud what do you think?" And Bud said what he always says "well first let's have a drink" There's one good thing about her for sure we both know She's a hooooooooooochie koochie dancer in a carnival show And then we went behind the tent and that's when I felt a thud I woke up just lyin' there in the sawdust and the mud I musta hit my head on somethin', ya know it's dark back here "No officer, I ain't been drinkin'... Well just a couple of beers" The police found my wallet and my high school ring I didn't know that they were gone, it's the darndest thing I still feel kinda woozy from that corndog that I ate I think I'll go behind the tent and just sit back there and wait For my brand-new sweetheart, she'll look for me I know cause She's a hooooooooooochie koochie dancer in this carnival show "Listen officer, she was back there when I hit my head. She'll swear that it's all so" She's a hooooooooooochie koochie dancer in this carnival show