Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me 
plight,
For at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight,
Me body is all black & blue, me face a deathly grey,
And I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work 
today.

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to 
clear,
But, to toss them down from such a height, was not a 
good idea,
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod,
He said I'd to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now, shifting all those bricks by hand, it was so very 
slow,
So, I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below.
But, in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than 
me.

And so, when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like 
lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, til to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Now, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it 
sped,
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me 
head.
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty 
blow,
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen 
floors below.

Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to 
the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once 
more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked 
with pain,
Halfway down, I met the bloody barrel once again.

Now, the force of this collision, halfway down the 
office block,
Caused multiple contusions and a nasty state of shock,
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the 
ground,
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had 
scattered round.

Well, I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd 
passed the worst,
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom 
burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a 
hope.
For, as I lay there bleeding I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel being unsecured, then started down once 
more.
And it landed right across me as I lay there on the 
floor.
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only 
say,
That I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work 
today