Well I've kicked around a lot since high school 
I've worked a lot of nowhere gigs 
From keyboard man in a rock'n ska band 
To haulin' boss crude in the big rigs 
Now I've come back home to plan my next move 
From the comfort of my Aunt Faye's couch 
When I see my little cousin Janine walk in 
All I could say was ow-ow-ouch 

Honey how you've grown 
Like a rose 
Well we used to play 
When we were three 
How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree 

She turned my life into a living hell 
In those little tops and tight capris 
I pretended to be readin' the National Probe 
As I was watchin' her wax her skis 
On Saturday night she walked in with her date 
And backs him up against the wall 
I tumbled off the couch and heard myself sing 
In a voice I never knew I had before 

Honey how you've grown 
Like a rose 
Well we used to play 
When we were three 
How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree 

I'll teach you everything I know 
If you teach me how to do that dance 
Life is short and quid pro quo 
And what's so strange about a down-home family romance? 

One night we're playin' gin by a cracklin' fire 
And I decided to make my play 
I said babe with my boyish charm and good looks 
How can you stand it for one more day 
She said maybe its the skeevy look in your eyes 
Or that your mind has turned to applesauce 
The dreary architecture of your soul 
I said - but what is it exactly turns you off? 

Honey how you've grown 
Like a rose 
Well we used to play 
When we were three 
How about a kiss for your cousin Dupree