Ooh, ah 
Ooh, ah 
Ooh, ah 
Ooh, ah 

Enter Maurice 
My dearest darling, come closer to Maurice so I can whisper 
sweet words of epismetology in your ear and speak to you of 
the pompitous of love. Even though our road is rough and 
long, for you to leave me at this time darling, must surely 
be wrong. So come back and reconsider one more thing. Maurice 
is the only one to make your little heart sing. 

Ooh mama ooh, ooh mama ooh 
How can you do the things that you do? 
Ooh mama ooh, ooh mama ooh 
I'm gonna buy you some brand new shoes 
I'm gonna buy you some brand new shoes 

Enter Maurice 
I don't know why you won't make no more apple pie. Since you've 
been gone it's been starvation mama, ever since I lost my 
probation. Don't you remember the time that you ended up in 
jail? That's right darling, it was Maurice who went your bail. 
Now, there's just one more thing that I want to say before you turn 
and walk away. 

Bom Bom Bom Bom do wah da di dit 
Bom Bom Bom Bom do wah da di dit 
Bom Bom Bom Bom do wah da di dit... 

Darling please, don't walk out that door, you must reconsider 
darling, you've done it so many times before. It's not too late, 
It's never too late, precious one, for Maurice to love you. 
Just remember sweetheart, I bought myself a gun and I will be 
the only one.