Early in the morning on a cold day in August A creature was out roaming in the square "Disruption", screamed the news reel, "Was the consequence of laziness, But how it got out we're really not aware" It said "We have measures we can take to avoid civic panic And I will not have a coward in my land Bring out the tanks and sten guns To contain the situation As he felt the ice cool switchblade in his hand But he stands with the community with pride And he leads the village choir Sunday night He doesn't really exist, it's all done with mirrors So they searched among the buildings, Through the woods and through the hedgerows To try to lure the creature from his lair The parish hadn't seen a single thing like this in years And beasts upon the Sabbath wasn't fair. We have police to deal with circumstances such as this they cry out And we pay our rates to hide things from our eyes And all we want to do is feed the poodles, practice croquet Without a monster roaming by surprise And the farmer got the beast into his sight And the bullets ricocheted into the night It didn't really exist, it's all done with mirrors And I was merely passing But could not resist a comment When I heard of all the dangers in your patch Because hidden terror strikes the heart When laws are under scrutiny So as you go I tell you of the catch No matter how many beasts you shoot or enemies you bury There'll always be another lurking near Because the hungry never sleep And they are out to cause you worry So guard your nests and I hope I've made it clear So as you go I must be passing on Close your eyes and think of Bournemouth I'll be gone I don't really exist, it's all done with mirrors