I once had a pig that loved me 
I lived in a shed in the country 
In a middle class district of Dunfries 
But that sad kind of pig was he 

Chorus: 

Pigs can't swim and pigs can't fly 
But pigs can see the wind go by 
Pigs make lovely household friends 
When winter comes and summer ends. 

Each week that lofty beastie 
Would beg with eyes so misty 
To take a boat o'er to England 
His life dreams to fulfill. 

To plunge into the Channel 
Swim to France would be his gamble 
Florence Chadwick couldn't hold a candle 
To such a darin' pig as he. 

"Are you tired of me?" I asked him 
"Will our friendship not be lastin'?" 
But he told me I was graspin' 
And he needed to be free. 

"So will you take me there tomorrow?" 
"In a pigs eye" I said with sorrow 
So he drowned himself in the bathtub 
(Naughty boy) and I had porkchops for me tea. 

Early in the morning 
So early in the morning. 
So early in the morning. 
Before the break of day.