Andy would bicycle across town In the rain to bring you candy And John would buy the gown For you to wear to the prom With Tom the astronomer, who'd name a star for you But I'm the luckiest guy On the Lower East Side 'Cause I've got wheels And you want to go for a ride Harry is the one I think you'll marry But it's Chris that you kissed after school Well, I'm a fool, there's no doubt But when the sun comes out And only when the sun comes out I'm the luckiest guy On the Lower East Side 'Cause I've got wheels And you want to go for a ride The day is beautiful and so are you My car is ugly but then I'm ugly too I know you'd never give me a second glance But when the weather's nice all the other guys don't stand a chance I know Professor Blumen makes you feel like a woman But when the wind is in your hair you laugh like a little girl So you share secrets with Lou, but we've got secrets too Well, one: I only keep this heap for you 'Cause I'm the ugliest guy On the Lower East Side But I've got wheels And you want to go for a ride Want to go for a ride? Want to go for a ride? Want to go for a ride?