It’s his lucky day, that’s a given 
He’ll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn 
He’s not addicted, he can stop any time 
But this is gonna pay he feels that this one will be fine 

This time I know I’m gonna smash the bet 
I foresee it smacked in the back of the net 
Men grip slips wipe their hands with sweat 
The camera pans the away fans end 
Twenty quid for blues who thrash the reds 
Then cash that cash when the ref has said 
My mates out his pad’s a mess 
It’s getting late I’ve not dash yet 
Oi, the question I have to ask myself 
Is can I see us not battering them 
If I can’t see that happening then 
I’m gonna put all my money down on one fat bet 

Now I don’t know the first thing about football 
But my instincts tell me this is my windfall 

It’s his lucky day, that’s a given 
He’ll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn 
He’s not addicted he, can stop any time 
But this is gonna pay he feels that this one will be fine 

This time I know I woulda cashed the lot 
I woulda held in my hand the whole jackpot 
The game’s won the ends haven’t swapped 
Two nil up they’re getting mashed up 
But I won’t win now the chance flopped 
Cause I couldn’t make it to the damned shop 
Might as well put tea in that pot 
I got nowhere else I have to bop 
The question I have to ask one 
Is how I managed not to manage the trod 
Maybe I can phone in and slap it on 
Put all my money on a mid-match one 

Yes I don’t know the first thing about football 
But my instincts tell me this is my windfall 

It’s his lucky day, that’s a given 
He’ll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn 
He’s not addicted he can stop any time 
But this is gonna pay he feels that this one will be fine 

Hmm shit, 
I’m mad glad I didn’t back that match 
Supposed to be a non-problematic catch 
Full time the whistle blasted after 
The last pass had passed the last pass 
Would you believe how we fell back? 
Three goals lost in the last half 
So glad I was stranded back at the flat 
Wincing at every goal we let them have 
Question I now have to ask 
Is how the fuck did we get smashed that bad? 
I just very very nearly nearly 
Lost every penny of all my cash 

Yes I don’t know the first thing about football 
And my instincts almost lead me to a pitfall 

It’s his lucky day, that was barmy 
He didn’t tick the box on the slip and what a relief 
He’s not addicted, he can stop any time 
But next time he’ll be more lucky, next time will be fine 

It’s his lucky day, that was barmy 
He didn’t tick the box on the slip and what a relief 
He’s not addicted, he can stop any time 
But next time he’ll be more lucky, next time will be fine 

I need to rethink the technique of my betting shit 
Maybe change the parameters a little bit 
Instead of betting to win on the football 
I’ll to bet to lose the cricket.