They're taking you to dinner, 
they're taking you to tea,
It's meals on wheels forever, 
interminably, 
You're old.

Now it takes you twenty 
when it used to take you five,
Every morning when you wake up 
it's not good to be alive,
You're old.

Half your friends are dying, 
half your friends are dead,
It takes you half an hour 
just to buy a loaf of bread,
You're old.

The Zimmer frame needs mending, 
the arthritis makes you sad,
Angina is Regina, 
the good times are all bad,
You're old.