You got a face on the front you got a face on the back Your beard is so long it’s going down your back You’re so ugly mirrors you crack Down a back alley you’d better mind your back You’re so ugly… You’re so ugly… Where others got skin you got scales You look a bit green and a bit pale At genteel conversation you’re gonna fail You’re as slimy as a garden snail You’re so ugly… You’re so ugly… You got a bird’s nest in your beard, you hang around looking weird You open your mouth saying something queer, as you drink twenty pints of beer You’re so ugly… You’ve got less charm than Attila the Hun You got a dirty face and a dirty bum Adolf Hitler would have been a chum You’re a dirty low-life piece of scum You’re a bearded leady in the freakshow, when they look at you you let them know You can use more holes than they can show, the hate from you is quick to flow You’re so ugly… The little kids want to pull your beard you stab them with your spear When they say is it real, sometimes you let them have a feel (of your fist) Ugly… Ugly Joe…