You know, Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen 
Comet and Cupid and Chopper and Nixon 
But do you recall 
The least famous reindeer of all? 

Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you 
Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you 

This is the tale of a reindeer that nobody knows 
Shoved down the back and largely ignored on account of 
a nasal disfigurement 
Not unlike Rudolph in that sense 
The hallmarks are almost the same 
Instead of a red shiny nose that brought Rudolph his 
fame... 

Fabian had just... a cavity 

No nose at all 
Just a big empty space 
In the middle of his face 
Scod: Just a couple of chambers 

[Fabian: What are you looking at? D'ya want a piece of 
this?] 

Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you 
Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you 

Abnormal snouts were surprisingly common in reindeer 
Rudolph and Fabian both fell victim 
To the elves and their cost-cutting measures 
In keeping their overheads down 
The elves fed the reindeer on reindeer. 
And on top of that, the poor reindeer were also inbred 

So Fabian had just... a cavity 

Tripod: His hooter was lacking 
Bugger all schnozz! 
All this because 
His dad was also his sister 
Who he then ate. 

[Fabian: This chicken tastes funny. Can I have some of 
yours?] 

Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you 
Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, tragic but true 

Disliked by his peers 
This disfigured deer was alone 
He watched from afar 
As Rudolph the star 
Would lead all the others back home 

But before you get too sympathetic 
There's another thing you should know 
Sure, his nose was upsetting 
But reindeer are not quite that shallow 

'Cause Fabian was... a tosser 

[Fabian What! ] 

Not nice at all! 

[Fabian: Argh, who ran out my batteries?] 

An arrogant fool! 

[Fabian: I look good in this, don't I?] 

A self-serving tool! 

[Fabian: I write my name on my stuff for a reason! ] 

An absolute face-hole 

Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian, no one likes you 
Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian 
Fabian, Fabian surgery won't fix the vortex 
That is your black heart