MANAGER No, please no Not tonight, please no Mister, can't you go Not tonight, can't have a scene ROGER What? MANAGER Go, please go, you, hello sir! I said no, important customer MARK What am I, just a blur? MANAGER You sit all night You never buy MARK That's a lie That's a lie I had a tea the other day MANAGER You couldn't pay! MARK Oh, yeah COLLINS Benjamin Coffin III, here? MANAGER Oh, no ALL Wine and beer! MAUREEN The enemy of Avenue A We'll stay MANAGER Oy vey COLLINS What brings the mogul in his own mind To the Life Cafe? BENNY I would like to propose a toast To Maureen's noble try It went well MAUREEN Go to hell BENNY Was the yuppie scum stomped? Not counting the homeless How many tickets weren't comped? ROGER Why did Muffy- BENNY Alison ROGER -Miss the show? BENNY There was a death in the family If you must know ANGEL Who died? BENNY Our akita MARK, ROGER, ANGEL, COLLINS Evita BENNY Mimi, I'm surprised A bright and charming girl like you Hangs out with these slackers Who don't adhere to deals You make fun, yet I am the one Attempting to do some good Or do you really want a neighborhood Where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's A fallacy in your head This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead MARK Dearly beloved, we gather here to say Our goodbyes COLLINS & ROGER Dies Ira, Dies Illa Kyrie Eleison Yitgadal V' Yitkadash (etc.) MARK Here she lies, No one knew her worth The late great daughter of Mother Earth On these nights when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass You bet your ass to... La Vie Boheme ALL La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme MARK To days of inspiration, Playing hookey, making something Out of nothing, the need To express to communicate, To going against the grain, Going insane, Going mad To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension, To starving for attention, Hating convention, hating pretension, Not to mention of course, Hating dear old mom and dad To riding your bike Midday past the three piece suits To fruits, to no absolutes To Absolut, to choice To the Village Voice To any passing fad To being an us for once, Instead of a them ALL La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme MAUREEN Is the equipment in a pyramid? JOANNE It is, Maureen MAUREEN The mixer doesn't have a case Don't give me that face! MR. GREY Ahemm MAUREEN Hey Mister... She's my sister WAITER So that's five miso soup, Four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner, Two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls BOHEMIAN Eww COLLINS It tastes the same MIMI If you close your eyes WAITER And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here? ALL Wine and beer! MIMI & ANGEL To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese To leather, to dildos, to curry Vindaloo To Huevos Rancheros, and Maya Angelou MAUREEN & COLLINS Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion, Creation, Vacation MARK Mucho masturbation MAUREEN & COLLINS Compassion, to fashion, to passion When it's new COLLINS To Sontag ANGEL To Sondheim FOUR PEOPLE To anything taboo COLLINS & ROGER Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage COLLINS Lenny Bruce ROGER Langston Hughes MAUREEN To the stage! PERSON #1 To Uta PERSON #2 To Buddha PERSON #3 Pablo Neruda, too MARK & MIMI Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow To blow off Auntie Em ALL La Vie Boheme MAUREEN And wipe the speakers off before you pack JOANNE Yes, Maureen MAUREEN Well, hurry back MR. GREY Sisters? MAUREEN We're close ANGEL, COLLINS Brothers! MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & 3 OTHERS Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana ALL To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC To no shame, never playing the fame game COLLINS To marijuana ALL To sodomy It's between God and me To S & M BENNY Waiter, Waiter, Waiter! ALL La Vie Boheme COLLINS In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner... Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one night performance at the Eleventh Street Lot Will perform Native American tribal chants, backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello which she ain't never studied. ROGER And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days. MARK And Mimi Marquez clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawnchair handcuff dance to the sounds of ice tea being stirred BENNY Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us? MIMI There's nothing to know BENNY Don't you think that we should discuss- MIMI It was three months ago BENNY He doesn't act like he's with you MIMI We're taking it slow BENNY Where is he now? MIMI He's right-hmm Where'd he go? MARK And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song That doesn't remind us of 'Musetta's Waltz' COLLINS Angel Dumott Schunard will model her latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10-gallon plastic pickle tub. ANGEL And Collins will recount his exploits as an Anarchist... Including the tale of His successful reprogramming of the MIT virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcasts the words: ALL 'Actual Reality - ACT UP - Fight AIDS! ' BENNY Check! MIMI Excuse me, did I do something wrong? I get invited, then ignored all night long ROGER I've been trying, I'm not lying No one's perfect, I've got baggage MIMI Life's too short babe, time is flying I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine ROGER I should tell you- MIMI I've got baggage, too ROGER I should tell you-- BOTH Baggage- OTHERS Wine And Beer! MIMI AZT break ROGER You? MIMI Me. You? ROGER Mimi