You can read it in the paper Or watch it on the news Everybody's got the pre-apocalyptic blues You better be ready when the shit goes down You better head on down to Costco Get you a bucket full of rice and beans A year's supply of 2-ply for your composting latrines So you'll be ready when the shit goes down Don't hesitate don't procrastinate Or you'll all be running scared There ain't no second chances for brave or impaired Did you know there's a couple of commies' hiding underneath your bed And the zombies gonna eat up all the brains in your head I got a Rambo knife with a compass And ballistic bug out bag Got a AK47 'bout a hundred Dexter Mags Gonna be ready when the shit goes down You know what I'm talking about Isis and Al-Qaeda About a billion red Chinese You say you ain't worried and I say honky please You better be ready when the shit goes down By my Jacuzzi there's an Uzi and an RPG Got a stinger missile mounted on my SUV They won't get to me no matter who they are I got land mines buried all over my yard 'Cause I read it in the paper I watched it on the news And now I've got the pre-apocalyptic blues I'm gonna be ready when the shit goes down Well you be ready when the shit goes down